After 15 months of living in state of flux, we finally completed on the sale of our house in Chester on Friday last week. It was a bittersweet moment when I received the telephone call from our solicitor telling us that we had completed.
We were no longer owners of the home that has housed our family for the past 5 years. In those four walls, we built memories, cried tears, experienced loss, dealt with health issues, faced uncertainty and change.
It was the home that saw the end of our home educating journey, a safe haven for our girls to return each day after university lectures, a launching pad when they finally fledged the nest.
As I wrote a little "Welcome Home" card and placed it next to a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine for the new owners earlier on in the week, I prayed over the house.
"Lord, may this be a safe and happy home for the new owners. May the experience every blessing and create a myriad of happy memories together. Bless this home and this family".
I'll be honest, over the past 15 months I really could not understand why it was that the door kept closing on our sale, why we experienced such an uphill battle to pass it on.
Three of my friends sold and bought houses in that time with very few problems, it was disheartening.
But there came a point when I realised that God was working out His good plans in our lives, directing our paths, and showing us that His way was infinitely better than our personal plans.
Our plans had us moving to the Lake District, further away from our children and our community. God's plans placed us in the Welsh hills, within easy commutable distance of our children.
Our plans had us downsizing to a small 2 bedroomed cottage. God's plans placed us in a sizable home with 4 bedrooms. Our children and their boyfriends and friends have spent a significant amount of time visiting and staying with us. More so than when we lived in Chester. This home seems to invite people to stay. It's inviting, warm, comfortable, spacious enough for everyone.
Our plans had us moving closer to my husband's place of work. A job that made him deeply unhappy and stressed and was having a very real impact on his health. God's plans had my husband step back from his job, retire from the hotel industry, and move toward finally opening his dream business. Since leaving full time employment he is happier, healthier, has lost weight as he has time for regular exercise. I am no longer fearful of him having a heart attack. We are looking forward to opening our own little coffee and artisan food shop - a long held dream.
Our plans were for a quick and easy sale so that we could push on with independence. God's plans forced us to depend on Him and His timing. That process restored my trust in God, trust that had been severely shaken after the untimely death of two close friends.
I have since been able to let go of my own plans that seemed "the sensible thing to do" and am trusting him to lead me along a different path, a path of a ministry which He placed in my heart when he asked me to trust Him and home educate our daughters 20 years ago. I'm grateful that my training allows me to work in a freelance capacity right now, allowing plenty of time to step out in faith as He leads me down a new path.
My angst has faded. I don't have any assurances as to what the future holds but I do know that I am back on the path that God has planned for me, for us, because I know God's peace that suparsses all understanding (Phil 4:7), and I have not had that peace since our home educating days came to a close.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways", says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. " ~ Isaiah 55:8-9
While hindsight is a wonderful thing, the process of walking through difficult times is a refining and necessary process if we are to grow in our faith.
While I couldn't see it at the time, am grateful that our journey was not a smooth and easy transition. It was not what we needed and our Heavenly Father knows best. He knew exactly what we both needed, and for all our kicking, screaming and tantruming - He patiently loved us and revealed His good and perfect way for our lives.
Whatever season you are in, lean into God and trust His ways. He loves you deeply and wants good things for His children. Sometimes our understanding of what 'good things' are may not be the 'best' things.
Wishing you every blessing this week.
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